These are your thoughts, in a blender

My thoughts are all over the board this week. I feel like this has been the LONGEST week of my life. I had a phone interview on Monday and wasn't going to get the news until Friday or Monday. Each day has crept by, I've tried not to reply the interview in my head. What good would that do, I can't go back and change it. I'm 80% sure I'll get called back. Although I was incredibly nervous and didn't sound as polished as I had hoped, I seemed to hit everything dead on for what they were looking for.

The thought of being in charge is a bit overwhelming. Can I really rise to the occasion? Do I really have what it takes? Overall, I'm confident that I would rise to the challenge and excel.

I wasn't so sure anymore that I wanted all the responsibility, I was okay with middle management. However, with something I'm passionate about like this, I'm ready for the challenge.

I love music. I think a lot of people can say that. However, I have a very random taste in music. Which I'm actually quite proud about, it seems like I can talk to most anyone about music. But what kills me is the memories I have attached to music. I turned on my shuffle yesterday to work out and the song that came on is the song that was playing when I had a very intimate night. It was like a kick to the gut. A lot of songs remind me of this person, actually. I'm not sure if I should just listen to the songs and get over it or burn them.

So while loving music is great and tying memories to it is usually pretty good, there are times when I wish I don't.

My head says to run, to run fast and far in the other direction. My heart, says to stay, it's everything you need and are looking for. All the small things I want are met. When it comes to my heart, I think I'm a weird dichotomy. On one side I wear my emotions on my sleeve. On the other side, I act like I don't care, that way you can never tell how much you're effecting me. Which then when I'm told I can't have something, I realize how much I really wanted it.